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Run reports and photos

Up Coming Runs

Date:14/02/2016
Run 1332 Thanh Da Island (no bus)
Hares: Fuckoffee, Mini Crumpet, Inflight Service, Slow Gin
Date:21/02/2016
Run 1333 Long Thanh
Hares: Sore Arse, Fucking Everywhere, Pole Polisher,
Date:28/02/2016
Run 1334 Binh Duong
Hares: Comes in the Family
Date:06/03/2016
Run 1335
Hares: White Boy....', Mini Crumpet, Fuckoffee

Contact Us

  • Vietnamese    0902 822 022
  • English    0167 962 2369 or 0938 966 396
  • Email sytzej@gmail.com

Hash in VietNam

Happy New Year to all Hashers

Next Saigon Hash Run 1332: Thanh Da Island (no bus) on 14th February 2016

Hares: Mini Crumpet, Slow Gin, Inflight Service and Fukcoffee
 
Run starts from Tu Tri restaurant, 1121 Binh Quoi, Thanh Da Island at 2.45pm
(same restaurant as HM's last run)
Drive down Binh Quoi street and its 0.5km after the Saigon Domaine apartment block on the left hand side.
 
Alternatively, meet Fukoffee at 2pm at the Caravelle Hotel to share taxis.
 
Run fees: gentlemen 100,000 and ladies 50,000
 
There will be an onon at the Tu Tri restaurant overlooking the Saigon river:
gentlemen 200,000 and ladies 100,000. We will take orders at the beginning of the run.

You are very WELCOME to join us on the Saigon Hash, this Sunday....................... Chào mừng bạn đến với Saigon Hash, vào chủ nhật này….



The MMC for 2016


Haberdash

Don't forget to bring some extra Dong with you on the hash bus to buy some goodies from our hash store.
We have an extensive collection of high quality running shorts, singlets, shirts, moneybelts stubby coolers, caps, sarongs and other sensational Hash memorabilia all meticulously designed to suit the Vietnam tropical climate.


Saigon Harriettes' Runs

The Saigon Harriettes usually run on the First F#$@%ng Friday of each month. 
  Details on their runs can be found under Hash Events,
   click on Harriettes' runs on Fridays.

Saigon Hash Awards 2015

The three most coveted Hash awards of 2015:

 Hasher of the Year 2015:                     Tinky Winky
 VN Hasher of the year:   Mini Crumpet
  Hareset of the year:       Paddy Fag

Are you a Movie Star?

Our Hash director FCCafe has shot high quality movies of all of you. To find out if you are a movie star, check them out:

Run 1330 Herding cows

Run 1329 Live Hare
 

Run 1328 The scenic Buddha Run 

Run 1327 The BIG B'day party


The SUK chapter's Xmas

Run 1324 A Shithouse Run


Run 1323   Xmas   Run 1322   Run 1320

Run 1319   
Run 1315    Run 1314    Run 1312    

Run 1309   Run 1308    Run 1304    Run 1300



And we even have some with foreign movie stars:

Myanmar 6-8 November 2015 

For Hares

Difficulties finding a good runsite? Check out the SaigonHashMap.

Once you found a good location and know the starting point, inform the bus crew at least a week in advance. Best is to send a description and the coordinates of the starting point to the email of Ms. Nghia at nhatngandt@gmail.com. You can also call Ms. Nghia, or text her, on 0902 917 227.
For more info on how to prepare as a Hare, click on Hare instructions.

Run statistics

The Saigon Hash religeously records all your runs and haresets. Details can be found by clicking on the little foot marked Hash Stats, at the top of the home page.
In the search box, just type the first few letters of your Hash name, then click "Search" and your data will come up.


Disclaimer

By participating in any activity organized by the Saigon Hash House Harriers (SH3), and realizing that Hash running may be hazardous to yourself, to small children, family pets, marriages, buildings, parked as well as some moving vehicles, trees, plants, and vegetables, you shall not hold the SH3, nor its mismanagement committee, nor any organizer of a Hash event, responsible for injuries incurred before, during or after the Hash (in other words NEVER) due to your ability, or lack thereof, illness, dehydration, lack of sleep, sickness related to overconsumption of amber fluid, injury or death.
 
Furthermore, and this applies especially to some Danish Hashers, you will not hold SH3 responsible for being lost on a trail, even if the trail is so horribly laid that a bloodhound chasing could n’t find the true trail to save its own life, and even though the trail is so long that a marathon runner winces when thinking about running such distances, and even though there is so much shiggy on the trail that an alligator would feel at home, and even though conditions are so wet that a fish would drown, and even though the whole course could have been short-cut by walking 100 yards across the park, you shall not bicker, complain or whine incessantly, otherwise you can expect to be seated on ice and to be named or renamed in a most heinous way as to cause ridicule upon yourself at the mere whisper of the name.

Run 1330 Herding cows

Date: 31/01/2016 Location: Long Thanh, Dong Nai
Hares:

This week a beautifully written report by Sexy Eyes. You will need to take a day off to read it all, but it is well worth it. Enjoy.
GM


A missing  hare, a missed beer stop and herding cows
 

Hares Tinky Winky, Thai Me Up, Safe Sex

The prerun circle included the very important task of GM handover; out with the old and in with the new.
At the start of the post run circle the old committee were called in for their annual review…it was deemed that they had done a superb job of mismanaging every aspect of the Hash, and they were forced to take their punishment in the form of beer.
The new committee was then called in to be given the once over … they appear to meet the stringent criteria consisting of a formidable group of blaggards and reprobates, signalling that we can expect the normal standards of service continue in true Hash style.
Special mention was given to the new role allocated to Inspect ‘er Chim, who will have the enviable task of whipping us all into shape and allocating punishments, the stuff some people's dreams are made of!
The fixer in the form of General Erection was then called into the circle. He has been successful in his dastardly plan to turn our beloved Hashes over to the Dutch, we are now double dutch and facing conversion into limited liability companies to be sold to Google or Facebook… hang on don’t Google have sleep pods and freebies … well done GE!
The presence of the hares was then demanded; Tinky Winky, the walking hare, strode confidently into the the circle whilst Tie Me Up and Safe Sex scuttled in … well if you will allow the incompetent front runners to run right past the beer stop what else can you expect… banishment to the ice was inevitable!
Dodgy Banger regaled us with a tale of little paper at the start of the walk followed by an abundance that would rival the the most bureaucratic government department. It was also noted that the hare kept popping in and out with no regard for the feelings of those he was servicing, always very unsatisfactory. The walk was given a score of -5.
Inspect ‘er Chim reported that the run was excellent with lots of stupid cows and bulls who kept disappearing only to reappear again as they were running around in circles.The score was  - 2 giving an overall score after adjustments of -3.2
Our new GM Kaiser Shithouse then demonstrated excellent delegations skills by handing the circle over into the dubious hands of Paddy Fag. His first move was to pass the fragile virgins over into the experienced hands of Phuc Me 2 in order to ensure their deflowering was completed. We were introduced to May from the Philippines who stated that her boyfriend Alan from Scotland made her come, whilst the aforementioned Alan proclaimed that Meatcilcle had made him come, interesting! Jackson form the Gold Coast was forced to come by Dumblewhore, Adam from Hong Kong came due to the assistance of another of our hashing fraternity and Mario from Italy  proudly announced that he used the internet to come in true porn surfer fashion.
White Boy Satong Shut Up then took over introducing us to the visitors and returnees. Meaticle informed us that he had returned from a quest throughout the whole of Ireland seeking the origin of the accent of Paddy Fag, unfortunately his quest was unsuccessful as he forgot to include Phattys on his itinerary. Chris and Holliston from America via Taiwan came together although Holliston informed us that she made herself come, not that unusual a scenario. Dennis from California brazenly laid claim to being a wanker. We then moved on to interrogate Appendadicktomy who again counts as a returnee and has apparently been off wooing a beautiful young lady and promising to make honest woman of her… we will wait and see what his follow through is like.
Tinky Winky and Tie Me Up were then charged with running the hash like Kim Jong-il; we are expecting Kaiser Shithouse to run a far more democratic regime emulating heroes such as  Sonthi Boonyaratglin and Than Shwe.
Overdrive was then called into the circle. We had been under the impression, due to his actions, that he was miserable abomination and a disgrace to the Danish, however we have now been informed by the News of World that the Danish authorities are seizing refugees valuables so he was deservedly commended for representing his nation so admirably.
Paddy Fag then demanded the presence of Fuckoffee and Twin Knockers, whoops the wife's not here she seems to have slipped her leash Paddy, maybe you are loosing your grip! In flight Service acted as a suitable standin, much to her dismay. Paddy Fag recounted a tale of woe involving being palmed off by Twin Knockers into the safe hands of Fuckoffee due to his slight inebriation. Fuckoffee, ever the responsible hasher, procured the drunkest taxi driver he could find to convey them back to their abodes. This resulted in a near death experience on a rollercoaster taxi ride and a whole new view of the world… perhaps Twin Knockers had a plan after all.
 
At this point an irate Inspect ‘er Chim strode into the circle dismayed at the low standards of disipline in comparison to his beloved Wehrmachtand determined to emulate its noble traditions on the Hash. He pulled in a number of hashes guilty of the heinous crimes of right hand drinking, fashion abuse and private parties and summarily punished them all.
 
Fuckoffee then charged Phuc Me 2. Whilst animal lovers Paddy Fag and Stray Pussy were encouraging people to show the numerous cows we had encountered the respect that they deserved, Phuc Me 2 undid all their efforts by proclaiming that she “didn't care what they think only what they taste like”. In a similar vein Overdrive commended Dodgy Bangers’ attempts to calm the beasts when he suggested that Hanh should remove the red shirt she was wearing as it was obviously causing them distress, unfortunately her feeling on the matter were similar to those of Phuc Me 2 and the shirt stayed on.
At this point Tinky Winky declared that whilst in tenue as our GM he had noticed a number of overachievers, a situation which is obviously very grave and cannot be allowed to continue. He therefore called in the bus crew to answer for their despicable behaviour doling out the appropriate punishments cleverly disguised as presents and Lucky money… just wait until you open them! How dare they drive us every week, prepare us food, supply us with beers and clean up after us. It has been noted however that although the bus is cleaned every week it is always full of the same bullshit, some things never change.
At this point our resident culinary expert in the shape of Fuckoffee pointed out that Safe
Sex will be spending her birthday spying on the Hanoi hash for us and he had therefore baked a carrot cake for her to celebrate with us today. She called Tinky Winky and CL to join her as they are also celebrating birthdays; they were beautifully serenaded in the traditional Hash style.
 
Paddy Fag treated us to a literary quote reminding us that “all animals are created equal but some are more equal than others”. This was followed by his favourite saying  and a stern reminder to us all that there are only 2 rules on the hash: Rule 1 the GM is always right; Rule 2 if you think the GM is wrong refer to Rule 1; seems very fair to me.
In light of these reminders Kaiser Shithouse recounted his adventures in the bank where he met the stingiest couple in the world. As his number was up and he moved towards the counter, 2 hopeless individuals who had already been waiting for 2 hours lept in front of him. They desperately needed  to close their account and take their money out in USD despite the whopping fee of 70 cents, the bank reluctantly agreed and handed over the vast sum of 45 thousand ………. VND. Who where these poor individuals you may ask … our own beloved Dumblewhore  and Downunderware! It was felt that such audacity along with their devotion to our hash should not go unrecognised and thus a reward was duly given. Dumblewhore with absolutely no rancour pointed out that at our oh so democratic elections the previous night his nomination of himself to stand as GM had been so utterly ignored that we were welcome to our Dutch flexible dyke fingered gay marriage supporting GM and he was off to offer his services to the Democratic Republic of Australia… he did take the gift with him though!
Woofer as a stand in representative for the Vietnamese government was charged with plagiarising General Erections brilliant speech from the Hash election party and using it earlier in the week.
Meatcicle decried the lack of diversity in singing on the hash charging our Song Meister and introducing a new song to us while he was at it.
The airline pilots were then called in and charged with carelessness as the aircraft that had flown overhead at the start of the run had dropped its protractor and would obviously therefore not know which direction to go in. The pilots refuted this claim stating that since they had been enlightened by the philosophy of Paddy Fag they now no longer needed the protractor. They just remembered his wise words… “Going to Hanoi, sea on the right; going to Ho Chi Minh, sea on the left; sea on both sides, whoops we are lost!”. Thanks again Paddy I’m sure we all feel much more confident about flying now.
 
We then had an interesting lesson in Vietnamese culture. Phuc Me 2, as we all know, takes her role as religious advisor to the male virgins very seriously. She responsibly brought them all into the circle to ensure they were familiar with the correct use of the condom. She called on the expertise of Inspect ‘er Chim who was baffled being completely unfamiliar with the contraption himself. This left her in a difficult position … again, but as a consummate professional she ingeniously instructed them on its use as a rain hat, hair tie, rubber shoes, river life raft, clean water collection device and hunting catapult. During this time the assembled hashers became increasingly concerned that the correct use was not actually going to be divulged, Safe Sex was looking particularly dismayed. It dawned on the assembled crowd that she may need educating herself and unfortunately there were no cucumbers to hand. Paddy Fag valiantly offered his services in demonstrating its use in order to prevent an infestation of mini Phuc Me 2’s whilst Dumblewhore generously donated his newly acquired stash to the cause.
 
Then it was back to the charges, the Americans were charged with stupidity as in Vietnam the elections take 1 week, whilst in America it will take 1.5 years and they will probably still end up with  Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton… sing it with me... dum di dum dum dum dum.
After being charges for sunglasses, hands on hips and right hand drinking the Taiwanese Hasher Chris ably assisted by his companion in arms decided to show us how to sit on the ice properly by pulling down their shorts… yes we’ve seen that before and made a choice to be different! Always the entrepreneur Our Hash cash offered 10 USD a lick after they left the ice… there were no takers although it was suggested that Felix should get free licks. However it was decided that our Taiwanese representative had been remiss in not sharing this cultural exchange with us earlier and she was iced. In true Saigon Hash style she choose not to follow the herd and her bottom remains a thing of beauty in the imagination of all assembled ...well done Nut Surfer!
 
The missed beer stop had obviously been festering in the minds of the assembled runners especially given the extra mileage Tinky Winky had had to do in order to buy of the wares from the lady who had so eagerly been awaiting our money.. sorry…. visit! The running hares were again charged with this. Inbound joined them as a result of his very Irish comment, when in the middle of the forest, that “the beer stop must be somewhere near here”
Upon hearing his name mentioned Tinky Winky again bounded into the circle pointing out what a sensitive GM he had been not like this new autocratic despot. He told us how upsetting it was to have been pushed out in such a cruel manner as all he had ever tried to do was emulate his heroine Headmistress. It was pointed out that he was continuing to follow in her footsteps as it had been impossible to keep her out of the circle as well.
 
The last charge was laid at the feet of the Scottish for being claimed as a nation, over the not so United Kingdom, by Andy Murray who was concurrently being thrashed in the tennis. The Scottish seem to be renowned on the Hash for failing to return the service. Allegedly Appendicktomy doesn't know how to get it in either.
 
Announcements then followed regarding the next 2 Harriers runs and the Harriettes run. Details of these can be found on the website and Facebook.
There was no On On as Thai Me Up has slaved over a hot stove providing us with Thai noodles and big sausages..mmmmm yummy.
 
And that’s all for this week folks, Sexy Eyes signing off.